La Mort Instantanée
by groovy99
Summary: It is Ginny's POV. It has a lot of voilence, swearing and suicide plots in it so if you are not into that stuff don't read.The basic story line is someone ruins Ginny trust in everything, including life. To figure out what the title means, read the story.


**Okie dokie. This is my first angst story, so ignore stupid mistakes. This story has suicide, bad langauge and other not so good themes in it, so if you are not into that sort of stuff I advise that you don't read this. Also all charectors in this story belong to J.K.Rowling and only the ideas and plot are mine. Please review, even if you wanna but bad reviews in, they give my a laugh and I get some sick pleasure out of them. Well enjoy!**  
  
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"Ginny wait!" I heard him call.  
"No!" I yelled back continuing running down the hall. How could I have been so stupid as to trust him!?  
"Ginny!" he called again.  
"Fuck off Draco!" I creid. "I don't want to hear it!"  
I could hear him running after me, and I ran faster. He was catching up to me. My legs were begining to get tired and my lungs burned from lack of air.  
"Leave me alone!" I cried.  
"No!" he called back.  
"Why won't you go!?" I kept thinking to myself. "You've done enough damage already."  
He then caught up to me and grabbed my arm.  
"Let me go!" I yelled trying to pull away from him, but his grip was to strong. I started crying, I was so stupid for thinking someone could change. Was it a crime to trust people? Yes! No one could be trusted. He had used me.   
"I'll let you go after I make something very clear to you." he hissed into my ear.  
I continued struggling.  
"Fuck off!" I screamed "You've already destroyed everything!"   
"Shut up you little tramp!" he said. "Now listen here, you tell anyone about anything and believe me I'll make sure you regret the day you were ever born."  
"Is that a threat?' I said bravely.  
"Believe me, you tell and there won't be any Ginny Weasley left on this planet. Is that clear?" he said.  
My eyes widened in terror. I believed his threat. I knew what he was capable of and killing me would be one of them. He was evil, pure evil, and killing didn't matter to him. He had no morals. I unfortunatley fell into his trap. Like a mouse after cheese, I got caught.  
He then let go of my arm and I stumbled backwards and fell on the hard cold ground.  
"Remember" he said. "One word."  
He then turned and walked off cooly as if nothing had ever happened, leaving me on the floor by myself.  
I lifted my arm up and saw that a big bruise was forming, and it hung in a twisted way that I didn't think arms were supposed to do. It hurt like hell. I could taste blood in my mouth from were I bit my tongue when I fell. I felt terrible, like I had been to hell and back and I let myself just sit there in pain, crying on the floor. After all I did deserve this, after all that I have done.  
  
Two months ago everything was going great. I was in my 6th year at Hogwarts and I was getting advanced Transfiguration work after my amazingly high OWL results the year before. I was a prefect and everything was fine until he came into my life. He was Draco Malfoy. At first he was really sweet about trying to get my attention, which made me wonder, was what everything everyone said about him being a horrible monster really true? Or was there a kind, sweet person under all that evil? So I ignored everyones advice and let him give me the attention. As I said before, at first he was really sweet and nice.  
  
But then he became nasty and his true self came back. He starting treating me like a dog that had walked through its own shit and spread it through the house and on the good rugs. I tried to leave, on several occasions but he was too powerful. He bribed me and abused me in ways you could never imagine. He told me I was ugly and fat and was lucky to have him becuase no other guy would ever want me. I stopped eating and now my robes hang loosly from my body. Things aren't so great anymore and my marks have gone down so much. I can't face my friends anymore and I feel alone and fearful. Then tonight whilst I was done in the dungeons with Draco getting my usual bashing, he went furthur, furthur than ever before. I felt dirty and like I could never be clean again. Afterwards I ran from the dungeons. I was scared and angry. I felt like killing someone, preferably Draco.  
  
Eventually someone found me sitting on the floor alone on there way back from dinner early to go study.  
"Ginny! Oh my gosh! What happened!?" Hermione cried leaning down, she lifted up my face and looked at my tear streaked face.  
"How did this happen Ginny?" she asked.  
I said nothing, I had nothing to say, I couldn't. I felt dead even though I wasn't. I felt like my heart wasn't beating, though it was. I felt like my lungs would never work again, even though they were.   
"We have to get you to the hospital wing" Hermione said helping me up. I did not object, I had no energy left. And anyway what was the point? Nothing mattered.  
  
Madame Pomfrey fixed my arm up in a second and then gave Hermione instructions to keep a close eye on me. Hermione then lead me back to the common room and took me into the dormitory. I sat down on my bed and looked into nothingness.  
"Are you going to tell me what happened?" Hermione enquired.  
I looked up at her, her eyes were wide inc oncern, but did she really care?  
"Nothing." I finally said.  
"Ginny! Nothing didn't break your arm!" Hermione yelled  
"Fell over that's it!" I said.  
"Why weren't you at dinner?"   
"I wasn't hungry"  
"I'm not buying this Ginny"  
"I dont care! Look thats the truth take it or leave it! I don't know why you are taking this so seriously. It's just nothing!" I yelled.  
"It's not just tonight Ginny! You've completely changed! Your not your old self anymore. Ever since you and Malfoy got together your a complete different person!" Hermione yelled.  
"This has nothing to do with Draco! I've just grown up a bit thats all! You know I'm not a baby anymore! Just leave me alone!"  
"I want to help Ginny!"  
"Well I don't want you to!"  
"Ginny please!"  
"Just go!"  
"Ginny!"  
"Go!"  
Hermione stood still stubbornly.  
"Go!" I screamed throwing a book at her.   
Hermione dodged the book, then she looked up at me.  
"You need help Ginny, why won't you take it?" then she left.  
  
I sat on my bed for ages that night just crying to myself. The other girls in my dormitory avoided me and didn't say a word to me. They were just like everyone else. Too caught up in their own pathetic lives to give an owl's hoot about me. I was nothing. I am nothing. No one cares, everyone thinks only of themselves and nothing else. I am alone, though surrounded by heaps of people, but still I am very much alone.   
  
Later on I forced myself to go and have a shower. I turned the taps on and undressed. I looked at what I had become in the mirror. I had bones sticking out where there used to be flesh. I was pale and I looked lifeless. I turned away from the disgusting site which was my body and stepped into the shower. I grabbed the soap and started scrubbing my body. I couldn't get rid of the foul stench with was Draco Malfoy. I felt dirty though I had washed myself ten times. I felt sick and I started making myself throw up. What had become of me? Nothing. Who am I? Nothing, nobody! Just a tramp like Draco said, no purpose. I am a slut and a whore.  
  
Once I had finished washing myself another ten times, (although I felt no cleaner) I turned the taps off and wrapped myself in a towel. I loked at myself in the mirror again, ugly, ugly, ugly, ugly. I felt angry at myself, Draco and everyone around me. I hated everyone and everything. I punched the mirror so I didn't have to look at the horrible face that stared back at me. Glass shattered everywere and I saw blood start coming out of my hand. I watched it seep out and onto the floor. It had this wonderful calming affect to it. I immersed myslef into it. Watching the dark red drip and watching it go.  
  
Cutting myself and watching the blood flow became a habit for me. Everyday in the bathrom I would watch it for hours and every part of my body that was covered by my robes were covered in scars from where I was doing this to myself. It made me feel better, more calm and like I could deal with things better. It was like my drug. I was addicted to it and I couldn't stop. I went crazy if someone was in the bathroom and I couldn't get in. I sank lower and lower into myself and the only thing I ever thought about was cutting myself and watching the blood drip. It had become my life. It was the only thing that kept me going.   
  
One day during my usual cutting session, Melissa a girl in my dormitory, burst in the door because me being a stupid idiot forgot to lock it!  
"What the fuck are you doing in here Ginny! You're taking forever!" she yelled.   
Then she saw the knife in my hand and the long gash on my arm. She saw the blood pouring out of the gash and staining my arm and the floor. She saw the shiny silver of the kinfe with the dark patched of red on it. Her eyes widened in terror and then she let out an ear peircing scream. How stupid could I have been to not lock the stupid fucking door!? Fuck you're stupid Ginny! So stupid! Draco was right I am just a silly slut.  
Melissa stopped screaming and looked at me weirdly.   
"You're fucken crazy!" she yelled then turning from the room and ran out the door probably to go and get a teacher. I looked around desperatly. The room was a complete mess! I quickly grabbed my wand out my pocket and quickly did some charms to clean up the mess and I got rid of the knife by throwing it out the window. I got rid of any blood on me and quickly left the bathroom and went into the empty dormitory. I then sat on my bed and opened up a book.  
  
A couple of minutes later Melissa was back with Proffessor McGonagal. I heard them on the steps first.  
"She's a freak!" I heard Melissa telling her. "She had a knife in her hand and she was cutting herself with it!"  
"Alright Melissa, just calm down!"  
Then McGonagal and Melissa walked in. Melissa kept giving me dirty looks.   
"Er...Hello Ginny...Melissa tells me that you were...er...well...cutting yourself in the bathroom. I just wanted to know if this was true. And if you were ok and if you needed anything." McGonagal said.   
I looked up and painted on a fake smile.   
"I don't know what you are talking about" I said sugar sweetly "Everything is going great!"  
I don't think McGonagal was quite prepared for my response. I suppose she thought I would break down and start crying and pouring out my heart to her. But I knew better than that, it wasn't like she cared anyway.  
"Um..well if you don't mind I am just going to take a quick peek in the bathroom to make sure." McGonagal said.  
"Ok sure, go ahead." I said.  
McGonagal walked over to the bathroom door followed closely by Melissa.  
"You should see it professor, the floor is literally covered with blood." Melissa said gving me an evil look. "It's so disgusting."  
"That's enough Mellissa." McGonagal said opening the bathroom door and stepping inside.  
A couple of minutes later she stepped out again.  
"Well I don't see what you are talking about Melissa, that bathroom is perfectly fine." McGonagal said.  
Melissa's face boiled up.  
"I'm not lying! Its true! She was! I saw her!" she cried.  
"Melissa, I don't think you should be making up lies about fellow students like that. Especially ones which are so dangerous. And as for disturbing me, you're in a lot of trouble." McGonagal said fiercly.  
"LOOK AT HER LEFT ARM AND YOU'LL SEE I AM NOT LYING!" Melissa screamed at the top of her lungs.  
McGonagal looked a bit taken back and took awhile to respond.  
"Melissa, please don't shout." She finally said.  
"Sorry Professor. But just please look at her left arm and then you'll know that I'm not lying!" Melissa said.  
"Ok, I'll check her arm, just to be sure." McGonagal said.  
Melissa smiled satisfactorly and crossed her arms and stared at me smirking.  
McGonagal stepped up to me.   
"Can you please pull your sleeve up Ginny." She said.  
Slowly I pulled my sleeve up to reveal...  
"NOTHING! But I saw her doing it!" Melissa yelled.  
"Melissa, I don't know what game you are playing at here but I don't like it. Come with me." McGonagal said. "Sorry for disturbing you Ginny.  
"Thats fine professor." I said smiling.   
"But...What?...No!" Melissa stammered.  
"Come Melissa." McGonagal said walking out the room followed by an angry and confused Melissa.  
"Poor Melissa." I thought to myself. "She doesn't even know of a simple healing spell."  
  
Well by the next day everyone at Hogwarts knew that Melissa caught me cutting myself. She went and told everyone she saw and whenever she saw me she would start whispering to anyone who was near her. People avoided me and gave me weird looks. People would whisper to themselves about me.  
"Is that her over there? You know the one who cuts herself?"  
"Yeah, how could you miss that red Weasley hair!"  
"She looks like a freak."  
"Thats because she is."  
And stuff like that.  
  
Everyone thought I was a freak. You should have seen the way Ron and Harry looked at me. It was disgust. They asked me if it was true- of course I denied it, and they said they believed me, but I knew they didn't and of course Hermione told them what had happened. They offered their support, like they were supposed too. They didn't care, otherwise this never would have happened.  
  
One day while I was walking to my Divination lesson and getting my usual stared and whispers, when I tripped over something- or rather, someone tripped me.  
"Damn!" I yelled at myself, picking up my books and rubbing my knee.  
"Hey Ginny." I heard. The voice was full of hatred, evil and slime which could only be Draco.  
"What do you want Draco." I said coolly.  
"Do I have to have a purpose to talk to you Ginny?" He asked slyly.  
"Fuck off Draco, I'm not falling for anything this time!" I spat.  
By this time the hall was empty because classes had alreay begun, which meant I was late.   
"Shut up you stupid bitch! You're a whore and were lucky to have me and you know it!"  
"Shut up!" I yelled the memories flooding back to me, the grief and the pain. I couldn't go through it all again. I started crying. Why did he have to do this to me?  
"See the truth hurts doesn't it." Draco said evily. " So I hear you have gone a bit crazy, and are into cutting things. I always knew you were a loser, and like I said, you were lucky to have me."  
He then walked off with a satisfied look on his face. I watched him walk down the hall and turn the corner. Anger surged through me. He was a bastard and I hated him, though he was right. I was a whore and no one would ever love me and he just felt sorry for me.  
  
I ran as fast as my legs could take me all the way to the Gryffindor common room. I yelled the passsword at the Fat Lady and climbed through. My bag and books went flying as I threw them running up the stairs and into the dormitory and through to the bathroom.  
Damn! I threw my knife out the window! Fuck! I searched the bathroom, I was panicking, I needed something sharp! NOW! Then I found it, a razor, I grabbed it and started digging in litterally. I slid down on to the floor and started watching the blood. Nothing else mattered as long as I could watch the blood things were fine.  
  
The blood had dried up and the razor had served it's purpose. Not as well as my knife did, but I felt better. I cleaned up and left to go down to dinner. why I didn't know, I never ate anything. In the hall I saw Hagrid talking to Professor McGonagal. McGonagal turned around and when she saw me, gave me a sad look.  
"Ginny, please come into my office." She said.  
I followed her and Hagrid into her office.  
"Ginny, Hagrid found this below the Gryffindor tower and it looks like it was thrown from the 6th year girls bathroom window." McGonagal said holding up my knife, my beautiful shiny knife.  
"This looks bad Ginny, really bad. After these claims about you, I am going to have to investigate and in the mean time I will be sending you home to your parents so you can be watched over properly. I have just sent your parents an owl and they will be here to get you tommorow morning."  
I sat there half listening to a word she said, I had to get my knifed back. I had to! The razor wasn't good enough! I wanted my fucking knife!  
"You may go Ginny." McGonagal said. "Please start packing immediatly."  
I left McGonagals office. They were kicking me out of Hogwarts! Why? Just because I loved my knife? Because no one cared? Why should I be kicked out? Well that's an easy question to answer, because no one wants me or needs me, I'm nothing, just someone cluttering up a bed, wasting oxygen, food and water, a waste...nothing...Why should I exist no more? I had no purpose, I was nothing and with nothing gone, what would it matter? Who would notice anyway?  
  
After I had packed my things I decieded to go and have my final look around Hogwarts. Everyone by now had heard about me leaving and when I went into the common room everyone avoided me, and let me continue on out. When I was halfway down the marble staircase when I heard a familar voice.  
"Yeah I heard she is leaving to. She is such a stupid tart. You should have seen here when we were together, it was pathetic."   
It was Draco and he was talking louding to Crabbe and Goyle so everyone could here. I then heard Crabbe and Goyle laugh.  
"Hey look there's mudblood and the weasel" I heard Draco say. "Hey Weasel heard about your loony sister!"  
"Shut-up Malfoy."  
"Yeah, she's not to good in bed either."  
My stomach did flip flops.  
"Fuck off Malfoy! Ginny has more respect for herself than that!" Hermione yelled.  
But did I? He and I did....But it wasn't my idea....He made me! That was it! I had enough! I couldn't cope anymore! Then I ran and Ron must have seen me.  
"Your an asshole Draco! You know that!" he yelled.  
I didn't care and I ran as fast as I could up to the common room and back into the dormitory were I dressed in my favourite emerald green dress robe. The colour reminded me of Harry's eyes. Too bad he never loved me, he didn't even care at all, and like everyone else, he was too messed up in himself to care. I brushed my long red hair, for the last time. I sat on my bed and pulled out a small bottle from my drawer. It was full of a purple liquid called La Mort Instantanée which was french for instant death. I pulled the lid off and bought the bottle to my lips and went to take a sip when Ron burst in through the door.   
"Ginny! No!" he yelled standing at the door.  
"What's the point Ron, nothing matters." I said  
"Ginny, please, people care!" he said.  
I shook my head.  
"No they don't Ron, you dont get it. Goodbye Ron, you're a wonderful brother." Then I drunk the potion.  
The last thing I saw was Ron running over to my bed screaming "GINNY! NO!" and clutching my body. But it didn't matter, I was free now, nothing mattered, because I was nothing.  
  
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**Well I hoped you liked it. Remember to review, even if you thought it was a loud of crap, I don't mind! Bye!** 


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